Club Shay Shay
Club Shay Shay
January 29, 2026

Kevin Gates Sh*t Himself In The Head In 2020: “Crying for help.” I CLUB SHAY SHAY

Quick Read

Rapper Kevin Gates reveals his past struggles with opioid addiction, severe depression, and a suicide attempt in 2020, even while sober, highlighting his journey to finding purpose and advocating for men's mental health.
Gates battled severe opioid addiction, including heroin and lean, which caused erectile dysfunction at 23.
In 2020, despite being sober and fit, he attempted suicide due to profound depression and a lack of feeling appreciated.
His recovery involves turning pain into purpose, advocating for men's mental health, and using music as a form of 'couples therapy' with his wife.

Summary

Kevin Gates candidly discusses his history with heavy drug use, including heroin and lean, which led to erectile dysfunction at 23. He recounts a deeply personal and harrowing experience in 2020 where, despite being sober and physically fit, he attempted suicide by shooting himself in the head while holding his child. This period was marked by profound depression, feeling unappreciated, and a sense of living but not being alive. His journey to recovery involved inner work, finding purpose in turning pain into passion, and developing unique coping mechanisms like 'couples therapy' through music with his wife. He emphasizes the importance of mental health, self-love, and disconnecting from social media to find personal fulfillment.
This episode offers a raw and specific account of a successful public figure's battle with severe depression and suicidal ideation, even when outwardly appearing to have overcome drug addiction. It challenges perceptions of mental health, particularly for men who may suffer in silence, and provides a powerful narrative on the importance of self-love, purpose, and seeking help, even if it's through unconventional means like Gates's 'couples therapy' music sessions.

Takeaways

  • Kevin Gates struggled with heavy opioid addiction (heroin, lean) and experienced erectile dysfunction at 23 due to drug use.
  • In 2020, while sober and physically fit, he experienced severe depression and attempted suicide by shooting himself in the head.
  • He felt unappreciated and 'tolerated, not celebrated,' leading to a deep sense of despair despite his professional success.
  • Gates advocates for men's mental health, emphasizing the importance of turning pain into purpose.
  • His recovery involved significant inner work and a unique 'couples therapy' approach where his wife listens as he records songs expressing his emotions.
  • He prioritizes 'me time' and disconnects from social media daily to maintain mental well-being and self-love.

Insights

1Suicidal Ideation While Sober and Successful

Kevin Gates recounted a suicide attempt in 2020 where he shot himself in the head, despite having stopped drug use in 2019 and being on a fitness journey. He was holding his child at the time, driven by profound depression and a feeling that 'nobody going to miss me anyway.' This highlights that mental health crises can occur independently of active substance abuse, even amidst outward signs of recovery and success.

Guest states, 'I wasn't on drugs then in 2020. I stopped doing drugs and I came home and once I got on my fitness journey like 2019 I wasn't doing no drugs.' He then describes the suicide attempt: 'I done shot myself in the head before. I got a bullet in my head... I'm holding my child... this going to be the last time they see me.'

2The Pain of Being 'Tolerated, Not Celebrated'

A significant trigger for Gates's depression in 2020 was the feeling of being 'tolerated' rather than 'celebrated,' despite his efforts to improve himself through fitness and sobriety. This emotional disconnect, where his contributions felt unappreciated, intensified his despair and made the reality of his situation 'hit even harder when you ain't inoculating yourself' with drugs.

Guest states, 'I'm doing all this working out and I got myself together. I'm doing all this and I'm still seem like I'm just being tolerated. I ain't being celebrated like and it the reality hit even harder when you ain't inoculating yourself.'

3Lean's Impact on Physical Health

Gates explicitly links his past use of 'lean' (codeine syrup) to experiencing erectile dysfunction at a young age (23). He explains that in a depressed state, the desire to 'get loaded' overshadowed concerns about physical side effects.

Host asks about ED at 23 due to drugs. Guest responds, 'Lean. Lean make your don't get hard. Yes.' He adds, 'When you when you in that depressed lane and all that, I'm be honest. You don't be able to be giving a by about no. You just want to get loaded.'

4Music as 'Couples Therapy' for Emotional Release

Gates developed a unique coping mechanism he calls 'couples therapy,' where he records music in the studio while his wife listens like a counselor. This process allows him to express deep emotions and receive support, transforming his pain into 'a song of triumph.'

Guest describes, 'it's called couples therapy where I go in the studio and I record and my wife sit there and listen like a counselor... And then I come back on the song. I'm elevated in rank... it's a song of triumph.'

Lessons

  • Prioritize 'me time' and disconnect from digital distractions daily, as Kevin Gates does with a dedicated 'iPod-like' phone for the gym, to foster self-love and productivity.
  • Engage in honest inner work to identify what truly brings personal fulfillment and purpose, rather than relying on external validation or others' opinions on what needs to change.
  • Recognize that suffering in silence is common, especially among men, and actively seek avenues for emotional release and support, whether through conventional therapy, trusted relationships, or creative outlets like music.
  • Understand that sobriety and physical fitness do not automatically resolve underlying mental health struggles; continuous attention to emotional well-being is essential.

Notable Moments

Kevin Gates reveals he shot himself in the head in 2020, while sober and holding his child, due to severe depression.

This moment is a shocking and specific revelation, underscoring the depth of his mental health crisis and challenging the assumption that sobriety alone resolves all issues. It highlights the silent suffering many, particularly men, endure.

Gates describes feeling 'tolerated, not celebrated' despite his efforts to improve himself, which intensified his depression.

This insight provides a specific emotional trigger for his despair, illustrating how a lack of appreciation can be as damaging as other stressors, even for successful individuals.

He details using music as a form of 'couples therapy,' recording songs with his wife listening as a counselor.

This demonstrates an unconventional yet effective method of processing trauma and finding emotional release, offering a creative alternative to traditional therapy and highlighting the supportive role of his partner.

Quotes

"

"I done shot myself in the head before. I got a bullet in my head. I ain't want to live."

Kevin Gates
"

"There somebody out there watching this a man that feel like he only as good as his ability to do and he's suffering in silence. He don't feel appreciated. And when you don't feel appreciated, what's the point of even living?"

Kevin Gates
"

"I'm showing the world, but mostly men, how to turn their pain into passion. Turn your pain and turn it. take your pain and turn it into purpose."

Kevin Gates

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