SIDE EFFECTS OF SUCCESS- MILLION DOLLAZ WORTH OF GAME EPISODE 376

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Quick Read

The hosts return to their roots, offering raw, unfiltered advice on navigating relationships, friendships, and the unexpected 'side effects of success' like entitlement and survivor's remorse.
Believe people when they show you who they are, especially in relationships during your lowest points.
True friendships are built on communication, not just shared struggles or social media validation.
Financial success introduces new challenges, including entitlement from others and the need to learn how to say 'no' to protect your wealth.

Summary

This episode sees the hosts, Gillie and Wallo, return to their core format of 'giving game' by answering listener questions. They tackle a range of topics, including relationship breakups, the dynamics of true friendship versus superficial connections, and the challenges of doing business with friends. A significant portion of the discussion focuses on the 'side effects of real money,' where Wallo shares his personal struggles with managing newfound wealth, dealing with entitlement from others, and the internal conflict of celebrating success without alienating those still struggling. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-respect, setting boundaries, and maintaining authenticity in the face of changing circumstances.
This episode offers practical, street-level wisdom on common life challenges, particularly for individuals experiencing upward mobility. It highlights the often-unspoken difficulties that come with financial success, such as managing expectations from friends and family, and the psychological toll of 'survivor's remorse.' The advice on relationships and friendships underscores the importance of clear communication, self-worth, and recognizing genuine support versus opportunistic connections, providing valuable lessons for personal and professional growth.

Takeaways

  • When someone reveals their true character, especially during your struggles, believe them and move on.
  • Many 'friends' are just 'just in case' relationships, not genuine connections built on communication.
  • Social media, entitlement, and trivial issues like reposts are destroying modern friendships and relationships.
  • The 'day one' concept is often misused; true bonds aren't instantly formed but developed over time and genuine connection.
  • Financial success brings problems like entitlement from others, tax complexities, and the internal struggle of 'survivor's remorse.'
  • Learning to say 'no' is crucial for protecting your financial stability and preventing others from taking advantage.
  • Some people you help the most might end up hating you the most due to jealousy or a sense of entitlement.
  • Authentic success means not being in competition with others, but rather striving to be your best self and uplifting those around you.

Insights

1Believe People When They Show You Who They Are

When a partner abandons you at your lowest point, their actions reveal their true character. Scotty from Milwaukee's ex-girlfriend left him when he was struggling but wanted to return after he became successful. The hosts advise against taking such a person back, emphasizing that their actions demonstrated a lack of loyalty and support.

Wallo advises Scotty from Milwaukee, 'She left you when you was at your lowest moment. She didn't uplift you. She didn't be by your side... Now you bounce back and now the [expletive] trying to bounce back. Scotty, don't become a lonely [expletive] loser sucker ass [expletive].' He stresses that once someone shows you who they are, you should believe it.

2Friendships Are Tested by Success, Not Just Struggle

Many relationships are superficial, maintained only 'just in case' they can benefit from your success. True friendships are characterized by open communication and mutual respect, not by social media validation or a sense of entitlement. The hosts observe that social media often fuels resentment when friends feel overlooked or unappreciated for trivial reasons.

Gillie states, 'A lot of friends don't turn on each other. People that never was friends turn on each other.' He explains that many people are 'just [expletive] with you cuz they be around just in case.' Wallo adds that 'a lot of friendships and relationships... is breaking up because of social media, because of entitlement, because of [expletive] that really don't matter.'

3The Unforeseen 'Side Effects' of Real Money

Achieving significant financial success brings unexpected problems, including increased demands from others, complex tax obligations, and a phenomenon akin to 'survivor's remorse.' Wallo describes feeling hesitant to display his wealth or celebrate success due to not wanting to make others feel bad, even driving a minivan while receiving multi-million dollar wire transfers.

Wallo explains, 'When the money come, the problems that come and follow is different.' He recounts how an article about their earnings changed things, bringing 'problems from all types of places.' He later adds, 'I was too afraid to to show success because I ain't want to feel like I'm better than somebody.'

4The Necessity of Saying 'No' to Protect Wealth

To maintain financial stability, individuals must learn to set boundaries and say 'no' to requests for money, even from close associates. Failing to do so can lead to others becoming financially dependent and developing an entitlement mentality, ultimately draining one's resources.

Wallo advises, 'Somewhere along the line a no got to start coming in because you got people out here right that if you a backbone for... you somebody that they can you know count on financially... if you ain't got no nose in you. You find [expletive] doing [expletive] that they normally wouldn't do.'

Bottom Line

The people you help the most might end up hating you the most.

So What?

This highlights the complex and often unappreciated nature of generosity. Helping others can sometimes breed resentment rather than gratitude, especially if they feel entitled or are jealous of your position.

Impact

This insight suggests a need for discernment in giving and a focus on empowering others rather than simply providing handouts. It also underscores the importance of self-preservation and not sacrificing your own well-being for unappreciative individuals.

Many people struggle to deal with someone who 'came out of nowhere' (e.g., from jail) and surpassed them in success.

So What?

This points to a deep-seated insecurity and competitive nature in society. People often resent success that doesn't fit their preconceived notions of 'earning it' or that comes from an unexpected source, especially if they feel they've been 'out here' longer.

Impact

For those achieving unexpected success, understanding this dynamic can help manage expectations and protect against external negativity. It reinforces the idea that your journey is yours, and external validation or approval is not required.

Key Concepts

The 'Just In Case' Relationship

This model describes superficial connections where individuals maintain proximity not out of genuine affection or loyalty, but because they might benefit from the other person's resources or status in the future. These relationships lack true communication and often dissolve when the perceived benefit disappears or when the 'friend' expects unreciprocated support.

Survivor's Remorse (Financial Context)

Adapted from its traditional psychological definition, this model highlights the guilt or discomfort experienced by individuals who achieve significant financial success while their peers or community members continue to struggle. This can lead to an inability to celebrate success, a reluctance to display wealth, and difficulty setting boundaries with those seeking financial assistance, ultimately jeopardizing their own stability.

The 'No' Barrier

This model emphasizes the critical skill of setting boundaries and saying 'no' to financial requests or demands from others. Failing to establish this 'no' barrier can lead to rapid depletion of wealth, as individuals become financial backbones for others who may then develop a sense of entitlement, preventing them from developing their own self-sufficiency.

Lessons

  • Prioritize self-respect and pride: Use doubt and abandonment as fuel for your comeback, but do not allow those who left you for dead to return to your life once you've succeeded.
  • Cultivate genuine connections: Focus on relationships built on real dialogue and communication, rather than superficial 'just in case' friendships or those driven by social media metrics.
  • Learn to say 'no': Establish clear financial boundaries to protect your resources from those who may develop a sense of entitlement or dependency, even if it leads to temporary disapproval.
  • Celebrate your success authentically: Overcome 'survivor's remorse' and don't shy away from your achievements, understanding that your journey is not a competition with others.

Notable Moments

Wallo describes driving a minivan and vacuuming it out while receiving multi-million dollar wire transfers, illustrating his reluctance to flaunt success.

This vivid anecdote powerfully conveys the internal conflict and 'survivor's remorse' that can accompany sudden wealth, highlighting the pressure to remain humble or avoid alienating those still struggling, even at the cost of personal enjoyment.

Quotes

"

"When a [expletive] show you who they is, Scotty, you believe that [expletive] man? She left you when you was at your lowest moment."

Wallo
"

"Pride could be a bad thing, but pride can also be a [expletive] great thing... That's when the pride supposed to kick in. All right. You doubting me? Y'all think I'm You think I'm done? All right. So then you use that pride to build you up for the comeback."

Wallo
"

"A lot of friends don't turn on each other. People that never was friends turn on each other."

Gillie
"

"When the money come, the problems that come and follow is different."

Wallo
"

"We don't want to compete with you. We want to eat with you. It's a difference. We don't want to shoot you. We want to salute you. It's a difference."

Wallo
"

"Some of the people that might hate you the the work the most is the people you do the most for."

Gillie

Q&A

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