Body language expert: 7 cues that make you instantly more likable | Full Interview

Your first impression begins the moment someone sees you, often in less than a second, establishing a foundation of trust and presence before any words are spoken. Nailing this initial perception of warmth and competence makes subsequent interaction significantly easier.

Your first impression happens the moment someone first sees you. That means you only have a few seconds, sometimes less than a second to form that foundation of trust that you need for an entire interaction.

It's not enough to *be* trustworthy and competent; you must *clearly signal* these traits. If your outer expression doesn't align with your inner intention, people won't believe your authenticity.

This is not your actual warmth and competence. It's your perceived warmth and competence. Meaning, you can be the smartest, most trustworthy person in the room, but if you're not clearly signaling that warmth and competence, people will not believe it.

When confronted with negative cues (e.g., an angry face), the amygdala activates, making emotions contagious. However, consciously labeling the emotion (e.g., 'anger', 'fear') disengages the amygdala, preventing emotional hijacking and allowing for a more controlled response.

When he taught them to say or label anger fear, it disengaged the amygdala. It made it so that those participants no longer felt angry and afraid. In this way, learning how to label cues is super empowering.

While competence is important, showing a degree of vulnerability, such as admitting nervousness or being a 'recovering awkward person,' can enhance warmth and make you more relatable and human, fostering deeper connection.

An aspect of warmth is vulnerability. If you're feeling nervous or anxious or afraid, you can say that. It's one of the reasons why I say in my first impression, it's literally the opening line of my book, I'm a recovering awkward person.

Fidgeting or self-soothing gestures (e.g., rubbing arms, cracking knuckles) not only make you appear nervous but can also be contagious, making others feel anxious. These gestures act as barriers to effective listening and connection.

Oftentimes those comfort gestures don't actually calm you down and they are a barrier to listening. It makes you look nervous which distracts the other person and also makes them catch the nervousness. Yes, self soothing gestures can be contagious.

Delivering information in a monotone way, even if you know the content well, disengages listeners. Incorporating vocal variety (fast/slow, high/low volume) and authentic emotion makes your message interesting, memorable, and easier for the audience to digest.

It is critical for you, even if you know your own stuff, even if you've said it a million times before, to add vocal dynamism. I want you to add vocal charisma. This is when you say some things really fast and excited, but some things a little slower, a little more mystery.