A Dish Best Served Cold | Reading Reddit Stories
Quick Read
Summary
Takeaways
- ❖Long-term, anonymous petty revenge, like mailing toenails for 11 years, can become a routine that loses its original purpose and crosses into harassment.
- ❖Revenge is ineffective and morally questionable when misdirected at an innocent party, rather than the actual wrongdoer.
- ❖Psychological revenge, such as pretending not to know a coworker's defining personality trait, can be a harmless and cathartic way to cope with workplace toxicity.
- ❖Extreme, manipulative revenge involving third parties and children is disproportionately harmful and can make the avenger as 'nutty' as the initial offender.
- ❖The internet's desensitized reaction to extreme revenge stories often overlooks the real-life consequences and moral implications for actual people.
- ❖True closure from past grievances often requires direct confrontation or disengagement, rather than prolonged, elaborate vengeful acts.
Insights
1The Perils of Prolonged Petty Revenge
Mailing toenail clippings to a childhood bully for 11 years, while initially a response to severe bullying, evolved into a bizarre, self-perpetuating routine. The hosts argue this crosses the line into harassment and highlights how revenge can consume the avenger's life without providing true closure.
The Reddit poster admits it's 'just part of my routine now' and 'I'm not doing this for a reaction,' indicating a loss of original intent. The hosts question if it's harassment and if the avenger truly feels better.
2Misdirected Revenge Harms the Innocent
A woman's revenge on her cheating ex-husband involved subtly damaging his new girlfriend's clothes. The hosts criticize this as misdirected, arguing it harms an innocent party and fails to address the true source of the grievance (the ex-husband).
The hosts state, 'You're hitting the wrong target, mate' and 'You completely did not get revenge on the person who did this to you.'
3Psychological Revenge for Toxic Workplaces
An employee's revenge against a toxic coworker involved pretending not to know what Brooklyn was, frustrating the coworker without causing physical or legal harm. This is framed as a harmless, cathartic act, with the ultimate 'win' being the employee quitting the toxic environment.
The hosts call it 'good revenge' and 'harmless,' noting that 'quitting and leaving that mess behind' was the real victory.
4The Dangers of 'Nuclear' Revenge Involving Children
A brother orchestrated an elaborate scheme to ruin his sibling's wedding proposal by staging a fake affair, leading to the breakup of the brother's relationship and impacting his child. The hosts strongly condemn this, emphasizing the harm to innocent parties and the self-destructive nature of such extreme manipulation.
Angela states, 'You went way too far. There's a child involved.' Shane adds, 'It's so messy.'
5Extreme Personal Revenge and Moral Compromise
A bisexual man's 'nuclear revenge' involved seducing his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend, orchestrating a threesome with her gay ex-boyfriend, and then exposing the affair, ultimately destroying her relationships and finding a new partner. The hosts acknowledge the initial hurt but highlight the extreme manipulation, non-consensual photography, and moral compromises involved.
The hosts react with 'Holy [__], this is crazy' and question the ethics of taking photos without consent and using someone for revenge.
Key Concepts
Slippery Slope of Revenge
The idea that a seemingly petty act of revenge can escalate over time, becoming more extreme and potentially consuming the avenger's life or leading to unintended, harmful consequences.
Disproportionate Response
When the reaction or retribution to an offense far exceeds the severity of the initial act, often leading to collateral damage or making the avenger morally compromised.
Catharsis vs. Self-Destruction
The tension between seeking emotional release through revenge and the potential for those actions to become self-destructive, prolonging suffering or creating new problems for the avenger.
Lessons
- When seeking revenge, ensure your actions are directed at the actual wrongdoer, not innocent third parties, to avoid misdirected harm and maintain moral clarity.
- Consider the long-term implications of revenge; prolonged or anonymous acts can become self-consuming routines that fail to provide genuine closure.
- Prioritize removing yourself from toxic environments (e.g., quitting a bad job) as a more effective and less damaging form of 'revenge' than engaging in prolonged conflict.
- Avoid involving innocent individuals, especially children, in personal disputes or revenge schemes, as this can cause disproportionate and lasting harm.
- Reflect on the personal cost of extreme revenge; manipulative or destructive acts can compromise your own integrity and well-being, even if they achieve desired outcomes against an adversary.
Notable Moments
The hosts' realization that Amanda and Angela's comedic 'toxic male' characters stem from spending too much time with their uncles as kids, leading to a discussion on their unique personalities.
This moment provides a humorous and self-aware insight into the hosts' comedic personas and their dynamic, setting a lighthearted tone before diving into the darker revenge stories.
The hosts' creative suggestions for escalating the toenail revenge, including sending cash or gift cards mixed with toenails, or even a bag of poop, to psychologically torment the bully.
This segment showcases the hosts' dark humor and imaginative approach to the concept of revenge, highlighting the psychological aspect of torment rather than just physical disgust.
The discussion about where old people get their unique, 'marshmallow' or 'Frankenstein' shoes, completely derailing the conversation with a humorous tangent.
This unexpected and silly tangent provides a moment of comedic relief and demonstrates the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday observations, breaking the tension of the revenge stories.
The hosts' reaction to the 'nuclear threesome' story, particularly the initial shock and then the humorous 'I'm so straight, she cheated on me so I [expletive] two guys' running gag.
This is a peak moment of the podcast's comedic style, using shock value and a recurring joke to process an extremely wild story, highlighting the desensitization to extreme narratives online.
Quotes
"I think I think that he should replace the toenails with just a picture of him. No more toenails. And just start sending pictures of him so that..."
"I think what's getting weird now is that technically this guy's collecting his toenails. Like, at the end of the day, he's piling them up."
"I think it's so funny that someone's just like, 'Oh yeah, in Brooklyn like things are hard. Oh, in Brooklyn we wouldn't do it.' It's like, wait, hold on. I've never heard of Brooklyn."
"I don't think revenge ever fixes your problem. I I think like asking that of revenge, you're never going to be really satisfied."
"You're like, you're taking one of your primary moments of your life and using it as a malicious act against someone else. I'm like, that's weird."
"Yeah. I think when you're in things, you're like, 'Oh [__] this this hits different.' These are people. Yeah. The one that was like, 'I applaud you.' It's a funny term of uh to say you're applauding because it's like it's a good movie."
"I'm so straight. She with me. I'm on grinder every day and I've been doing THAT FOR 11 YEARS."
Q&A
Recent Questions
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