Courtney Miller Eats Their Last Meal
Quick Read
Summary
Takeaways
- ❖Courtney Miller's early career at Smosh involved navigating a corporate environment while still figuring out adult social dynamics, coming from a Mormon background.
- ❖The 'golden era' of Smosh is characterized by genuine friendships and authenticity, which resonates deeply with their audience.
- ❖Miller's personal 'last meal' choices, like spicy tuna rolls with hard cider, are tied to significant life moments, such as their first night living independently in LA.
- ❖The discontinued Carl's Jr. Teriyaki burger represents a profound comfort food for Miller, linked to childhood memories and emotional sustenance.
- ❖Miller's journey of self-discovery included realizing their queer and genderqueer identity, often expressed through humor and a unique sensory connection to the world.
- ❖The internet's 'cyclical' nature means past content and eras are always accessible, fostering a unique relationship between creators and their audience.
- ❖Miller believes in reincarnation, envisioning a post-death 'Fortnite lobby' before returning as a 'happy California dairy cow'.
- ❖Balancing the impulse to share everything as a content creator with the need to protect personal privacy (e.g., family, relationships) is a constant challenge.
- ❖Miller's fans actively campaigned to change their Google search description from 'Shane Top's wife' to 'YouTuber,' demonstrating the audience's protective and supportive nature.
Insights
1Smosh's 'Golden Era' is Rooted in Authentic Connection
Courtney Miller and the host discuss how Smosh is currently experiencing a 'golden era,' attributing its success to 'comedy rooted in friendship' and capturing genuine authenticity. This contrasts with traditional A-list fame, emphasizing that YouTube creators' personal connection with their audience often surpasses the reach of mainstream celebrities.
Miller states, 'We're capturing authenticity... this is all of us being genuine... it very much feels that way where we are capturing authenticity which is like oftentimes magic.' The host notes, 'You all seem like you're having so much damn fun. You all seem so connected to what you're making.'
2Food as a Personal & Emotional Anchor
Miller's 'last meal' choices are deeply personal, reflecting significant life moments and emotional states. The spicy tuna roll and hard cider pairing symbolizes their first taste of independence in LA, while canned spaghetti represents childhood comfort during family struggles. The discontinued Carl's Jr. Teriyaki burger was a consistent source of happiness and sustenance during formative years.
Miller describes the spicy tuna and cider combo as their 'favorite combination' since their first night living away from home (). Regarding canned spaghetti, Miller recalls, 'when things were rough mentally or financially, it was canned spaghetti' (). The Carl's Jr. burger was their 'go-to for when I was feeling sad, when I needed some real sustenance to make me feel happy' from age 12 ().
3Navigating Identity and Public Perception as a Creator
Miller discusses the complexities of self-discovery and expressing their queer and genderqueer identity in the public sphere. They highlight how working in a diverse environment like Smosh helped them explore their identity, and how their public existence as a 'straight cis passing person' can serve as an 'entry point' for others to understand queer identities. They also touch on the challenge of balancing the desire to share personal experiences with the need for privacy.
Miller states, 'I like that I can be an entry point for people who don't understand to be like, 'Huh, well, maybe they are, I guess, still human beings.'' (). They also mention the internal struggle of wanting to share personal things like surgery, but choosing to keep relationships private ().
4The Evolution of Family and Belief Systems
Miller reflects on their Mormon upbringing, detailing the moment they questioned their faith due to the church's stance on LGBTQ+ issues (specifically Prop 8 and reactions to Dumbledore's sexuality). They discuss the process of reconciling their family's views with their own evolving beliefs and the importance of 'space' in family relationships, while still appreciating their family's love despite differing camps.
Miller recounts seeing Mormon friends' negative reactions to Dumbledore being declared gay and the campaigning for Prop 8, which led them to question their upbringing (). They emphasize, 'I appreciate that my family still loves me even though they are sometimes in a different camp' ().
Bottom Line
The 'bisexual burger' concept humorously links food preferences to identity, suggesting that a diverse palate (like teriyaki burgers) reflects an open-minded approach to life and pleasure, akin to bisexuality.
This playful association highlights how personal identity can be expressed and understood through unconventional metaphors, making complex topics more accessible and relatable.
Brands could leverage similar 'identity-linked' product descriptions to connect with diverse audiences in a lighthearted and inclusive way, fostering community around shared experiences and preferences.
Courtney Miller's ideal gender identity is an 'amorphous floating orb' or a 'melting puddle that makes people horny,' a highly unique and sensory description of gender fluidity.
This illustrates a profound, non-binary understanding of self that transcends conventional labels, emphasizing fluidity, sensory experience, and personal expression over rigid definitions.
Content creators and artists can explore abstract and sensory representations of identity, moving beyond traditional visual or narrative tropes to offer fresh perspectives on gender and self-expression.
The host's 'pudding sexual' identity, born from a desire to submerge in mayonnaise, reveals a deep, almost primal, sensory connection to food that goes beyond taste.
This humorous confession underscores the powerful, often subconscious, sensory and tactile aspects of food enjoyment, suggesting that pleasure can be found in unexpected textures and experiences.
Food experiences could be designed to engage more senses than just taste and smell, exploring tactile and immersive elements to create novel and memorable dining or content experiences.
Key Concepts
The Cyclical Nature of Internet Fame
Internet platforms and creators experience 'golden eras' that come and go, but unlike traditional media, past content remains accessible. This creates a unique relationship with an audience that can appreciate a creator's entire 'flawed' history, rather than just their current peak.
Authenticity as Content Magic
In the creator economy, genuine interactions and real personalities often create the most compelling and 'magical' content. When creators are truly themselves, the audience connects on a deeper level, making the content more impactful and critiquing the 'person' rather than just the 'performance'.
Lessons
- Prioritize authenticity in your creative work; genuine connection with your audience often yields the most impactful and lasting results.
- Reflect on the emotional significance of your 'comfort foods' and personal rituals around eating; they often reveal deeper connections to your past and identity.
- When navigating public platforms, establish clear boundaries between what you share and what you keep private to maintain personal well-being and protect loved ones.
- Embrace self-discovery and challenge inherited belief systems that don't align with your personal values, allowing for personal growth and a more authentic self.
- Cultivate a supportive community, whether online or offline, that champions your identity and advocates for you, as demonstrated by Smosh fans protecting Courtney Miller's online identity.
Notable Moments
Courtney Miller's detailed, sensory description of wanting to shrink and swim in a bowl of canned spaghetti, then eat a giant olive from the inside.
This vivid fantasy highlights Miller's deeply sensory nature and unique connection to food, offering a window into their creative and imaginative mind, and revealing a hidden aspect of their personality.
The host's confession of being 'pudding sexual' after Courtney's desire to submerge in mayonnaise, followed by the humorous 'You heard it here first. Mythical Chef Josh is pudding sexual.'
This lighthearted exchange underscores the playful and authentic dynamic between host and guest, creating a memorable moment that resonates with the podcast's theme of personal food confessions.
Courtney Miller's realization that they drew Princess Leia's nipples in their first Smosh video, leading to the exclamatory question, 'How did I not know I was queer?'
This moment humorously and poignantly illustrates the retrospective nature of self-discovery, showing how past experiences can gain new meaning once one understands their identity.
Courtney Miller's fans successfully campaigned to change their Google search description from 'Shane Top's wife' to 'YouTuber'.
This demonstrates the immense power and loyalty of a dedicated online community, highlighting how fans can actively support and shape a creator's public identity and narrative.
Quotes
"We're capturing authenticity... this is all of us being genuine when there's a comment critiquing the video or performance like you're critiquing us as people and that's a lot of YouTubers but like it very much feels that way where we are capturing authenticity which is like oftentimes magic."
"This burger is so special to me cuz as early as 12 years old, I would ride my bicycle to Carl's Jr. and get this burger... This burger was my go-to for when I was feeling sad, when I needed some real sustenance to make me feel happy because like food, it's it's about making me happy first before it's about nutrition."
"I like that I can be an entry point for people who don't understand to be like, 'Huh, well, maybe they are, I guess, still human beings.'"
"I appreciate that my family still loves me even though they are sometimes in a different camp. It makes me believe that maybe at the end of the day they they don't believe what they are, you know, putting out there."
"I am happy. I think I got asked this on Ian and Anony's like Lunchtime with Smosh podcast or Flashback, one of their shows, and they were really expecting me to say no."
Q&A
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