Tracy Morgan Claims He Is the King of New York and Started the Riverboat Brawl, Talks Reggie Dinkins
Quick Read
Summary
Takeaways
- ❖Tracy Morgan asserts his lineage to Jacques Cousteau, claiming his grandmother catered on the Calypso.
- ❖He is dating post-divorce, seeking 'old broads' (75-80) with emphysema and 'organic names,' and also 'migrants' for green cards, specifically those with 'one dark tooth'.
- ❖Morgan declared himself the 'King of New York,' ruling four out of five boroughs, and plans to coach the Giants.
- ❖He humorously claims to have started the Alabama riverboat brawl and ended the Writers Guild strike.
- ❖Morgan uses 'street Ozempic' from a Harlem 'Doc' and believes Rudolph's red nose is due to cocaine.
- ❖He details his daughter's stand-up debut and her role in writing his material.
Insights
1The King of New York's Comedic Reign
Tracy Morgan humorously declares himself the 'King of New York,' asserting dominion over Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and the Bronx, while ceding Staten Island to Wu-Tang. His first decree as king is to become the head coach of the New York Giants, where he plans to revamp the team's lunch menu from 'cowboy food' to traditional New York fare like knishes.
I'm the king of New York. And I'm ruling over everything. I'm ruling over Brooklyn. Manhattan. Queens. And the Bronx. Everything except for Staten Island. That's Wu-Tang's territory. () I'm going to be the head coach of the Giants... I would change the lunch. ()
2Unconventional Dating Post-Divorce
Following his divorce, Tracy Morgan details his unique approach to dating. He is active on Tinder, with a profile featuring a Walmart truck dropping money, and specifically seeks 'age-appropriate' women, humorously specifying 'old broads' aged 75-80 with emphysema and 'organic names' like Blanche or Flossie. He also mentions dating 'migrants' for green cards, noting a preference for those with 'one dark tooth'.
I'm getting a divorce... I'm on Tinder! Tray Bag is on Tinder. My Tinder profile is just a Walmart truck dropping a bag of money on my front lawn. (, ) I'm dating age-appropriate, man. I'm going for old broads. 75, 80... Organic names like Blanche or Flossie. () I'm messing with the migrants. That's my thing... It's about the green card... But she got to have a dark tooth. ()
3The Origins of the Riverboat Brawl and Ending the Writers Strike
Tracy Morgan takes credit for two significant, albeit disparate, events: starting the infamous Alabama riverboat brawl and single-handedly ending the Hollywood Writers Guild strike. He claims he initiated the brawl by parking his boat, then returned from getting a fish sandwich to find 'WrestleMania' ensuing. For the strike, he states he entered negotiations with his 'trusted negotiators,' Craig O. and Bobby Bats, and issued a threat that resolved the dispute.
You talking about the brawl in Alabama? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The riverboat. I started that. I started that... I parked my boat there... I went and got me a fish 'sammich,' and I came back and it was WrestleMania. () I ended the strike... That was me... I went into the meeting with two of my trusted negotiators — Craig O. and Bobby Bats. And I told them, 'If you don't end the strike, you're going to have to deal with them.' Strike was over. ()
4Street Ozempic and Underground Weed
Tracy Morgan reveals his weight loss is due to 'street Ozempic,' which he procures from a character named 'Doc' in Harlem, asserting that the 'good stuff' is found underground. He applies the same logic to cannabis, preferring to buy it from the streets despite legalization, believing it's 'ain't been stepped on' unlike doctor-prescribed or legally sold versions.
You see all the weight I've lost, right? That's that Ozempic. I bought my Ozempic off the streets... I know a dude named Doc. He's up in Harlem. He's making Ozempic. () Even though legalized weed, I'm still going underground to get mine 'cause that's where the good stuff is! It ain't been stepped on. ()
Notable Moments
Tracy Morgan recounts his childhood experience of getting lost in the Bronx Zoo for four hours after throwing rocks at monkeys, eventually being found 'hanging out with some flamingos,' and humorously suggesting he might have gotten one pregnant.
This anecdote perfectly encapsulates Morgan's wild, self-deprecating humor and his ability to weave a bizarre, memorable narrative from a simple childhood event.
Morgan describes his home aquariums, including a 20,000-gallon shark tank and a pool table with live piranhas underneath. He jokes about feeding the piranhas 'the dudes that's trying to feed them,' making them eat for weeks.
This highlights his eccentric lifestyle and love for marine life, presented with his signature dark, exaggerated humor, showcasing a unique personal detail.
Quotes
"A lot of people don't know that Jacques Cousteau is my biological grandpa."
"My ex-wife took that social distancing too far. She moved out, and I ain't seen her since!"
"My Tinder profile is just a Walmart truck dropping a bag of money on my front lawn."
"I'm the first Black recipient to get this award... to have a bigger [bleep] than Milton Berle."
"My family hopes somebody steal our identity. They want to see how a thief is going to do with a 350 credit score and tax problems."
"All I do is karate and make babies. In that order."
"If you are a Jet fan, a Met fan or a Nets fan, you got low self-esteem."
Q&A
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