i cant stop crying - H3 Show #239

The Tesla Cybertruck is presented with statistics suggesting it is the deadliest vehicle ever produced, with a fatality rate 17 times higher than the notorious Ford Pinto. This is attributed to its rigid steel frame, which does not crumple to absorb impact, leading to severe whiplash and injuries for occupants.

Reported fatalities per 100,000 units for Cybertruck are 14.52, significantly higher than the Ford Pinto. The design's lack of crumple zones is cited as a primary factor.

Elon Musk's Starlink satellite internet service has become a critical, almost dictatorial, factor in the Russia-Ukraine war. His ability to unilaterally control access to Starlink for either side has direct military implications, raising concerns about a private individual's power to influence global conflicts.

Starlink's connection is described as vital for drone operations in the war. Russia's access was reportedly turned off, and Elon previously cut Ukraine's access, demonstrating his control over a critical wartime utility.

Ned Fulmer's leaked dating profile on the 'Field' app, which caters to non-monogamous and kink-oriented relationships, sparked a debate among the hosts. His public sharing of the profile and detailed descriptions led to speculation that it was a calculated marketing move rather than a genuine leak.

Fulmer's profile described him as a 'Dom leaning switch looking for a bratty sub' and included personal details like living alone in Silverlake. The hosts questioned the authenticity due to his public tweet inviting 'roasting' and the app's specific pricing mentioned.

The viral story of 'Punch,' a baby Japanese macaque abandoned by its mother and bullied by its peers, who found comfort in an IKEA orangutan plushie, captivated the internet. This emotional narrative led to a global sell-out of the specific IKEA plushie, with resale prices skyrocketing.

Videos showed Punch being isolated and seeking solace with the stuffed animal. The IKEA plushie, originally retailing for around $20, was reportedly selling for up to $350 on eBay due to its viral fame.

The long-awaited 'Cry on Command' segment featured crew members attempting to cry on cue while delivering monologues based on deeply embarrassing or emotionally resonant personal stories. The use of 'cry sticks' and onions enhanced the dramatic (and often comedic) effect.

Monologues included stories of public defecation (Dan and Nate), eating raw bacon (Ethan), and a 'horse' fantasy (Hila). David, a classically trained actor, won the challenge with a story about accidentally kissing his own arm.