A Routine Welfare Check Turns Into a Horror Scene
Quick Read
Summary
Takeaways
- ❖Michael Hate maintained a public image of a solid family man while privately subjecting his wife, Tasha, to years of controlling and abusive behavior.
- ❖Tasha's attempts to leave Michael, including filing for divorce, were met with his refusal to vacate the home and a calculated plan for murder-suicide.
- ❖Michael controlled Tasha's finances, providing only $300 weekly for groceries and $100 per child for Christmas, and became enraged over minor overspending.
- ❖Tasha feared Michael had bugged their home, leading her to communicate cautiously and avoid detailed conversations or text messages.
- ❖Michael secretly recorded family interactions to curate evidence portraying him positively for an anticipated legal battle, unbeknownst to Tasha.
- ❖Days before the murders, Michael emptied the children's $20,000 savings accounts and removed all firearms from the house, including Tasha's handgun.
- ❖Michael researched 'how loud is a 9mm gunshot' and 'would a neighbor hear a gunshot in a garage' five days before the murders, indicating premeditation.
- ❖An officer initially told Tasha there was 'no indication' Michael would become violent, highlighting a dangerous misjudgment of his coercive control.
Insights
1Coercive Control Masked by Public Image
Michael Hate meticulously maintained an image of a successful, devoted family man and church member, which allowed him to hide years of severe coercive control and abuse. He prioritized how his family appeared to others over addressing internal problems, using financial control (e.g., strict grocery budgets, limited Christmas spending) and isolation tactics (taking keys, phones) to dominate Tasha. This facade made it difficult for outsiders, and even authorities, to perceive the true danger.
Michael worked for Allstate, with clients driving long distances to meet him, and the family was active in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He gave Tasha only $300 weekly for groceries and $100 per child for Christmas. He took her car keys and phone to keep her from leaving and got upset when she refinished a table without his permission. Tasha believed the house was bugged, leading her to communicate cautiously.
2Escalation of Abuse and Premeditated Violence
Michael's abusive behavior escalated over time, moving from emotional and financial control to physical intimidation, as evidenced by an incident where he swerved a car with the children inside and slammed his daughter's head. Upon being served divorce papers, Michael's actions became overtly premeditated. He refused to leave the home, emptied the children's savings accounts, and removed all firearms, ensuring Tasha had no means of defense. His online search history confirmed he was planning the murders, not just reacting impulsively.
In January 2021, Michael screamed at Tasha and yanked the car wheel, leaving red marks on the children from seatbelts. His daughter Macy reported him for slamming her head into a couch. After divorce papers were served on December 27th, Michael emptied $20,000 from each child's savings account and removed all firearms, including Tasha's handgun. Five days before the murders, he searched 'How loud is a 9mm gunshot?' and 'Would a neighbor hear a gunshot in a garage?'
3Tasha's Efforts to Escape and the Failure of External Support
Tasha actively sought to escape the abusive relationship. She saved money secretly for divorce, confided in friends and family about Michael's violence, and filed for divorce. She also tried to involve law enforcement and CPS. However, despite her efforts and clear expressions of fear, the system failed to adequately protect her and her children. An officer's misjudgment that Michael would not become violent proved tragically wrong, highlighting systemic gaps in recognizing and responding to the full spectrum of domestic abuse risks.
Tasha saved money from her allowance for divorce. She told her friend she was 'concerned for her safety' about returning home. Her friend informed the police that Michael had 'violent tendencies' and CPS had been involved. Tasha had also spoken to the police department weeks prior about the upcoming divorce because she 'didn't really trust him.' An officer later told Tasha there was 'no indication' Michael would become violent.
Lessons
- Recognize that coercive control, financial manipulation, and isolation are significant warning signs of domestic abuse, even in the absence of overt physical violence.
- Take all expressed fears of safety seriously, especially when a victim is attempting to leave an abusive relationship, as this is often the most dangerous period.
- Educate yourself and others on the patterns of domestic violence, including how perpetrators use public image to mask abuse and how to identify premeditation through subtle actions like controlling access to resources or weapons.
Notable Moments
The initial welfare check by police, prompted by Tasha's friend, found no immediate signs of distress, leading to a delayed forced entry.
This delay underscores how a perpetrator's ability to maintain silence and control the environment can hinder early intervention, even when concerned parties alert authorities.
The discovery of Michael Hate's handwritten note, blaming Tasha and claiming he was an 'honorable good man' who had 'fallen short in ways.'
The note reveals Michael's distorted self-perception and victim-blaming mentality, common in abusers, and his inability to take responsibility for his actions.
A neighbor heard 'fireworks' around 3:00 AM on the day of the murders, but dismissed them due to the time of year.
This highlights how unusual sounds can be misinterpreted, especially when people are not expecting a violent crime, and how quickly a tragedy can unfold unnoticed.
Quotes
"And I'm a little bit concerned. We had a we were supposed to um we had an appointment scheduled that she missed. She doesn't ever miss appointment. Is there any way I can set up to do a well check at her home?"
"I'm done. You have shut those down every time. So, I don't have a voice, Mike. I don't have a voice. I will have freedom now."
"I've been an honorable good man who has tried to do my best to provide for my family. I've never seen someone who is so intent on finding faults in others. I've tried helping, but it generally backfires, and I seem to always get blamed. I've been complained about every step of the way. She's been so awful to me and my family for years, and I've generally been patient, trying to work through her issues with my family. This is nonsense, and I can't handle it for one more day. I kept asking for help, and you wouldn't listen."
Q&A
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