Stoner Thoughts w/ Luis J. Gomez! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Quick Read
Summary
Takeaways
- ❖Luis J. Gomez recently purchased an Audi Q8 and kept his blacked-out Acura, owning two cars for 'no reason' as a sign of feeling 'classy'.
- ❖He admits to faking United Premier 1K status to board early, noting that airline staff rarely check.
- ❖Gomez recounts running out of money in Amsterdam due to spending on 'hookers and weed,' requiring a Western Union transfer from a friend.
- ❖He describes a severe toilet-clogging incident at a relative's house, requiring a stick from outside to clear the blockage.
- ❖Gomez believes recycling is 'garbage' based on a YouTube video and only washes his hands after peeing if his son is watching.
- ❖He has a 'garbage' urge to steal cash left on a friend's table, comparing it to the urge to lick a stripper's genitals.
- ❖Gomez's mother used to bring home mattresses found on the curb, which he considers a 'trash' upbringing.
Insights
1The Dual Nature of 'Classy' and 'Garbage' Purchases
Gomez illustrates his personal struggle between aspirational 'classy' purchases and underlying 'garbage' habits. After totaling an Audi, he bought a practical Acura, vowing to upgrade only after years of accident-free driving. However, a cracked windshield during a snowstorm led him to immediately buy an Audi Q8, only to then spend money blacking out the Acura, making it a 'hot car' he didn't even 'need'. This highlights how desires for luxury and practicality can conflict, often driven by impulsive reactions to minor inconveniences.
Gomez details totaling an Audi, buying an Acura TLX, then buying an Audi Q8 after the Acura's windshield cracked from heat, and subsequently blacking out the Acura's tires and windows, leading him to have two cars.
2Exploiting Airline Loopholes for Perceived Status
Gomez openly discusses a 'garbage' hack for feeling 'classy' while flying: faking United Premier 1K status to board early. He claims airline staff rarely check, allowing him to bypass standard boarding groups. This reflects a common behavior of seeking shortcuts to perceived status or convenience, even if it means bending rules.
Gomez states he was Premier 1K but was 'bumped' because United changed its policy to money spent instead of miles flown. He then advises listeners that airline staff 'don't check' Premier 1K status for early boarding.
3The 'Garbage' Urge: Impulse vs. Action
Gomez describes a primal 'garbage' urge to steal cash left on a friend's table, comparing it to the urge to lick a stripper's genitals. He clarifies that he would never act on these urges with friends, but the impulse remains. This insight explores the persistent, sometimes inappropriate, impulses that individuals might experience, even if they choose not to act on them due to social norms or personal relationships.
Gomez explains that if he sees cash on a friend's table, his mind goes, 'Oh, I want to take that money,' comparing it to the urge to lick a stripper's genitals, but he refrains because of friendship.
4Extreme Bathroom Misadventures and Problem-Solving
Gomez recounts a highly 'garbage' incident where he clogged a toilet at his son's mother's sister's house with an 'insane' amount of waste. Unable to flush or plunge, he resorted to using a long stick from outside to 'poke a hole' through the blockage. This story exemplifies extreme personal 'garbage' behavior and unconventional, desperate problem-solving in a socially awkward situation.
Gomez details a massive bowel movement that 'stuffed in the hole' and came out 'in a pile' from the toilet, necessitating him to go outside, find a stick, and 'poke a hole' to clear it.
5Selective Hygiene and Environmental Responsibility
Gomez reveals a selective approach to personal hygiene and environmental responsibility. He only washes his hands after peeing if his son is watching, otherwise he 'stopped caring'. Similarly, he dismisses recycling as 'garbage' based on a YouTube video, stating he makes his son recycle but doesn't go 'out of his way' himself. This highlights how personal accountability and adherence to social norms can be conditional, often influenced by the presence of others or perceived futility.
Gomez states he washes his hands after peeing 'when my son's there' but 'if my son's not watching, I don't even care'. He also claims recycling is 'garbage' because 'I saw a YouTube video once that stated that'.
Notable Moments
Gomez admits to being 'very stoned' for the podcast, having smoked every day since a recent trip to Mexico.
Sets the tone for his candid and often rambling anecdotes, contributing to the 'stoner thoughts' theme.
Gomez's high school, North Rockland High School, lists 'Flo' from Progressive as a notable alum, but not him, much to his 'infuriation'.
A humorous moment highlighting his comedic persona and the unexpected fame of a commercial actor.
Gomez describes his method of falling asleep by watching a movie he is 'highly interested in,' only to fall asleep within minutes.
A relatable and humorous insight into a common sleep habit, particularly when under the influence.
Gomez recounts being banned from a friend's house as a kid for choke-slamming his friend's younger brothers during 'pro wrestling' games and later for drawing on a basement wall with crayons at 16.
Illustrates his lifelong 'garbage' tendencies and the consequences of his actions, even in childhood.
Gomez claims that 'white strippers are the best' for bachelor parties if money is no object, but for cost-effectiveness, 'ghetto ass black strip clubs' are better because you can 'punch' money into their ribs and 'spit in their mouth for a dollar'.
A highly controversial and 'garbage' opinion that showcases his provocative comedic style and willingness to push boundaries.
Gomez reveals he has three bathrooms in his house but lets the cleaning lady handle most of the upkeep, only cleaning 'shit stains' himself before his girlfriend visits.
A 'garbage' insight into his personal hygiene habits and reliance on external help, contrasting with his 'classy' two-car ownership.
Gomez describes his method of peeing at airports without touching his penis, letting it 'flop out' and 'fire hose' into the urinal.
A bizarre and specific 'garbage' habit that further illustrates his lack of concern for conventional hygiene.
Gomez's sister wants to 'bang' H. Foley, and Gomez offers Foley five grand or his Acura to 'take care of her,' despite her having 'chubby mom' status and 'problems'.
A highly inappropriate and comedic family dynamic, showcasing Gomez's 'garbage' approach to matchmaking and family loyalty.
Gomez reveals he recently bought a new house and is converting his pool into a heated saltwater pool 'as we speak'.
A surprising 'classy' reveal that contrasts sharply with many of his 'garbage' anecdotes, highlighting the complex nature of his persona.
Quotes
"I have to if I'm not declaring things publicly then I can't I can't hold myself accountable. I need the fans and my friends and other comedians to be like, 'Dude, you said you wouldn't be fat by October, and here you are.'"
"Go to a black strip club like the ghetto ass strip club... They'll [expletive] You can spit in their mouth for a dollar."
"If my son's not watching, I don't even care if other people are there anymore. I've stopped caring at that point."
"I always just assume that everybody assumes, 'Oh, he must have uh uh hand sanitizer.'"
"I don't even kidding. The other day I didn't have any [expletive] baggies and I went into the house and I grabbed I was like, 'Oh, I have all of these giant [expletive] cloth bags and I use it to clean up dog [expletive] out of my backyard and I just threw it away.'"
Q&A
Recent Questions
Related Episodes
Mile High Club w/ Mark Normand! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
"Comedian Mark Normand joins the 'Are You Garbage?' hosts to dissect what truly defines 'classy' versus 'trashy' behavior, from self-checkout theft to the perils of owning a vintage car and the unexpected realities of cruise ship life."
STILL SIPPIN W/ POUR MINDS, KARLOUS MILLER & MONEYBAG MAFIA | 85 SOUTH SHOW
"The 85 South Show hosts and guests Poor Minds and Moneybag Mafia engage in a hilariously unfiltered discussion covering relationship dynamics, unexpected business ventures, and the pervasive influence of TikTok, all while sharing their unique perspectives on life's absurdities."
Tracy Morgan Claims He Is the King of New York and Started the Riverboat Brawl, Talks Reggie Dinkins
"Tracy Morgan delivers a masterclass in comedic chaos, claiming to be Jacques Cousteau's grandson, the 'King of New York,' and the instigator of the infamous Alabama riverboat brawl."
KOUNTRY WAYNE - MILLION DOLLAZ WORTH OF GAME EPISODE 372
"Comedian Kountry Wayne reveals his unconventional, high-volume content creation strategy using only cell phones and a large, distributed team, alongside candid discussions on financial responsibility for children, modern relationships, and the detrimental glorification of incarceration."