Disrupting Normalcy To Live Life In Full Bloom #ABalancedLife S4 E7

Dr. Tierney explains that many women wear a 'superwoman cape,' excelling in multiple roles (wife, mom, career) but ultimately 'killing themselves' in the process. This unsustainable pace is often driven by a perceived need to maintain a title or standard, leading to burnout. The solution involves assessing what needs to be *subtracted* from one's life rather than constantly adding more.

Dr. Tierney discusses her 'balanced superwoman system' and how women often 'grind their gears and run themselves into the ground' by constantly adding tasks without first assessing what to remove.

Charlotte Avery shares her personal journey of writing '40-day tone of voice tonedown,' realizing her own 'yelling, tone of voice, sarcasm issue' stemmed from feeling overwhelmed by constantly saying 'yes.' Learning to use the 'most powerful two-letter word,' 'no,' allowed her to reign in her commitments, reduce exhaustion, and reflect on her motivations, ultimately improving her household dynamics.

Charlotte Avery recounts how saying 'no' helped her not feel 'so overwhelmed' or 'overexhausted,' enabling her to 'reign herself in' and reflect on her actions.

Alencia Johnson, author of 'Flipping the Tables,' emphasizes that true disruption begins with the 'disruptor of self.' She argues that while fighting for external equity, people often neglect internal well-being. Looking in the mirror to identify personal 'red flags' – repeating patterns, self-sabotage, or holding oneself back – is crucial. This self-disruption allows high-functioning women to shed self-imposed 'red tape' and embrace their authentic, courageous selves.

Alencia Johnson states, 'Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and say, 'Wait, hold up. The red flag is you.'' She explains that this self-reflection helps remove 'red tape that we've put on our own selves.'

Pam Sams highlights that 'squirming' or being uncomfortable is a necessary 'season of life' for self-assessment and finding direction. She states, 'You have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable,' as this discomfort is essential for understanding where to focus one's life and making necessary shifts.

Pam Sams explains that 'the squirming is necessary really to understand where you really need to start focusing your life with' and that 'you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.'

Charlotte Avery discusses the necessity of 'retraining people how to engage with us in our newness' as one evolves. She recounts telling her husband that her '28-year-old self is gone' and that she has evolved significantly over 24 years of marriage and raising seven children. This involves not only acknowledging personal change but also communicating it to family and friends, setting new expectations, and accepting that some past versions of oneself are no longer necessary or serving.

Charlotte Avery describes telling her husband, 'my 28-year-old self is gone' and that she has 'clearly evolved,' emphasizing the need to 'acknowledge to the people around me that I'm no longer the same person.'

Dr. Tierney advises clients to 'shape other people's listening for them' by simply 'doing the new you' and modeling the desired behavior. She stresses that one doesn't owe everyone an explanation for personal transformation. While some people will become curious and join the journey, others may become resentful or unable to respect new boundaries. It's crucial to 'leave them where they're at' and understand that not everyone can accompany you, as delaying for others will only hinder your own progress.

Dr. Tierney states, 'You don't know everybody an explanation' and 'everybody that come with you can't go with you.' She advises to 'keep walking it out' and 'don't you turn around for no body sugar.'