Secret Fast Food Order! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Quick Read

Hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley debate the 'garbage' or 'classy' status of everything from secret fast-food orders to home decor and personal hygiene, all while sharing outlandish personal anecdotes.
A mysterious $150 Raising Cane's chicken order appeared for H. Foley at a comedy club, sparking a comedic 'investigation' into his alleged secret fast-food habits.
The hosts debate the 'classiness' of ordering a glass of milk with dessert at a restaurant, noting the common issue of lukewarm milk.
Keeping the previous owner's shower curtain in a new house is deemed 'garbage,' while the necessity of replacing the showerhead is debated.

Summary

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley dive into a series of listener-submitted 'Are You Garbage?' questions, dissecting various behaviors and preferences to determine their 'classy' or 'trash' status. Topics range from a mysterious $150 Raising Cane's chicken order delivered to H. Foley at a comedy club, to the etiquette of ordering milk with dessert at a restaurant, and the necessity of changing showerheads in a new home. The episode is filled with personal stories, comedic accusations, and debates on everyday quirks, including the social currency of sharing cigarettes and the practicality of walker tennis balls versus skis.
This episode offers a humorous lens into the subtle, often unspoken, social codes and personal habits that define our daily lives. It highlights how seemingly mundane choices, from fast food preferences to home maintenance, can reveal deeper insights into individual character and societal norms, all while providing relatable comedic relief.

Takeaways

  • H. Foley was accused of secretly ordering $150 worth of Raising Cane's chicken to a sold-out comedy show, which he vehemently denied.
  • Ordering milk with dessert at a restaurant is considered a 'power move' but often results in lukewarm, barista-grade milk.
  • The hosts agree that keeping the previous owner's shower curtain is 'garbage,' but debate the necessity of replacing a showerhead in a new home.
  • Sharing cigarettes ('heaters') is framed as a powerful social lubricant, fostering alliances and relationships, even in professional settings.
  • The practice of charging mileage for work done from a home office is identified as a common, if questionable, legal services 'racket.'

Insights

1The Mysterious Raising Cane's Chicken Order

H. Foley was confronted with a $150 delivery of Raising Cane's chicken at a comedy club, addressed to him. He denied ordering it, leading to a comedic 'interrogation' by Kevin Ryan, who suspected Foley of a secret fast-food habit or a misfired order intended for home. Foley suggested it was either a secret admirer or a setup.

H. Foley: 'It was about $150 worth of C's chicken.' Kevin Ryan: 'My immediate thought process is that you were guilty.'

2Ordering Milk with Dessert at Restaurants

The hosts discuss the 'garbage' or 'slick' nature of ordering a glass of milk with dessert at a restaurant, noting that while it's not on the menu, it's usually available. The main drawback identified is that the milk is often lukewarm, intended for coffee, rather than cold for drinking.

Kevin Ryan: 'Only problem is it depends what refrigerator it's in. It's not always super cold.' H. Foley: 'If you're on a date, you're getting milk. You got a bigger dick than me.'

3Home Hygiene: Showerheads and Curtains in New Homes

A listener asks if it's 'garbage' not to change the showerhead when buying a new house. The hosts agree that keeping the previous owner's shower curtain is definitely 'garbage' due to potential 'hand stains' and previous activities, but they debate the necessity of immediately replacing a showerhead.

H. Foley: 'I used the shower curtain for too long. I will say from the house I bought.' Kevin Ryan: 'You're using a guy's toothbrush.'

4The Social Currency of 'Heaters' (Cigarettes)

The hosts discuss how sharing cigarettes can build strong relationships and alliances, particularly in the comedy world or even for spies. They recount how they were known as the 'heater guys' at festivals, leading to connections with bigger comics, managers, and agents.

H. Foley: 'If you're a Karen Smoker and you're a comedian, that is where a lot of career alliances or you know relationships are made over heaters.'

5Legal Services Billing Practices

A listener's father, an independent contractor in legal services, charged mileage while working from home. This prompts a discussion on how law firms 'run up hours,' billing in 15-minute intervals for short phone calls and exaggerating time spent, highlighting the 'racket' of high-end legal billing.

H. Foley: 'Phone call. 3 minute phone call. That's an hour.' Kevin Ryan: '15 minutes. Of course. 15-minute interval intervals.'

Lessons

  • Be wary of lukewarm milk if you order it with dessert at a restaurant; it's likely intended for coffee.
  • Always replace the shower curtain when moving into a new home, as it's a common source of 'garbage' hygiene.
  • Consider the social benefits of sharing small consumables like cigarettes ('heaters') in informal professional settings to build rapport.
  • Be aware of how legal services bill for time, as short interactions can be rounded up to longer billable increments.

Notable Moments

The debate over the term 'lower 48 states,' with H. Foley arguing Hawaii should be included as it's 'lower' than Alaska, despite not being contiguous.

A humorous example of semantic nitpicking and a common misunderstanding of geographical terms, showcasing the hosts' playful banter.

H. Foley's story about his stepdad discovering 'moth holes' in his blazer, leading to a confused conversation with a tailor from the 'inner city' who couldn't understand the 'hillbilly' pronunciation.

A funny anecdote highlighting cultural and regional communication differences, and the unexpected reality of clothes-eating moths.

Kevin Ryan's confession of slurping H. Foley's soup when Foley was sick, which Foley describes as a 'sick bastard' move that still 'wakes him up in the middle of the night.'

A highly specific and gross-out comedic moment that exemplifies the deep, often disgusting, history between the long-time friends.

Quotes

"

"If you're an Uber Eats guy, you got to tell me."

H. Foley
"

"Heaters and gum. That's what won the war. Cold War. You know what I'm saying? Brought down that wall, baby."

Kevin Ryan
"

"You know how bad a coat that smells like mothball smells in a car with a bunch of teenagers? It's brutal. I'm supposed to be wearing formaldahhide."

H. Foley
"

"What's this going to set me back? One of these needs braces. What's this going to set me back?"

H. Foley

Q&A

Recent Questions

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