Quick Read
Summary
Takeaways
- ❖Butter chicken with ranch dressing was deemed a 'cultural slap in the face' despite being edible.
- ❖Chili transformed into a dessert with marshmallow fluff, pineapple, and peppermint candy, earning a sentence of 'Roblox with 5-year-olds.'
- ❖A seven-layer dip featuring Lucky Charms and Dijon mustard horrified the hosts, leading to a 'Von Miller sack' punishment.
- ❖Detroit-style pizza became a fruit jam and pineapple yeast concoction, resulting in calls for a 'life sentence in a cell with a pizza expert.'
- ❖New York cheesecake with lox cream cheese and capers was a 'savory-sweet confusion' that earned an 'electric chair with trout on top.'
- ❖A brown sugar ginger cake with lean ground beef was a 'typo-induced disaster' that surprisingly led to a settlement for the 'offender.'
- ❖Funnel cakes made with vanilla cinnamon coffee creamer were surprisingly preferred over the original, leading to a 'community service' punishment of making more.
Insights
1Butter Chicken Skewers with Ranch Dressing
A user substituted olive oil and ghee in a butter chicken recipe with ranch dressing. The hosts found the resulting dish edible but noted a distinct 'off' and 'sweet' flavor profile that was unexpected for butter chicken.
The hosts tasted the dish, noting its wetness and a sweet element. They identified barbecue sauce (incorrectly) and later discovered it was ranch dressing. They described it as a 'cultural slap in the face.'
2Classic Homemade Chili with Dessert Ingredients
A recipe for classic chili was altered with multiple sweet substitutions: avocado oil instead of olive oil, pineapple instead of jalapeños, peppermint candy instead of cilantro, marshmallow fluff instead of sour cream, and graham crackers instead of saltine crackers, with added chocolate chips.
The hosts tasted the chili, finding it 'kind of good' but noting the peppermint was a 'crime.' They identified marshmallow, pineapple, chocolate chips, and graham crackers. The overall consensus was a bizarre, dessert-like chili.
3Seven Layer Dip with Lucky Charms and Dijon Mustard
A user replaced key components of a seven-layer dip: refried beans with Lucky Charms, guacamole with Dijon mustard, and tortilla chips with oatmeal raisin cookies for dipping.
The hosts were visibly disgusted by the appearance and taste. They identified Lucky Charms, Dijon mustard (mistakenly thought it was hummus), and oatmeal raisin cookies. They described the experience as 'stupid' and 'upsetting,' with flavors that 'should not be in a seven-layer dip.'
4Detroit Style Pan Pizza with Fruit Jams and Pineapple Yeast
A user made extensive substitutions for a Detroit-style pan pizza: almond flour for bread flour, apple juice for water, agave for salt, pineapple for yeast, coconut for salami, and a sauce made from plums, nutritional yeast, raspberry syrup, guava paste, and sesame paste. The pizza was baked at a low temperature (120F).
The hosts were horrified by the appearance and taste, describing it as 'roadkill' and 'gruesome.' They identified many of the sweet and unusual substitutions, concluding it was a 'completely different recipe.'
5New York Cheesecake with Lox Cream Cheese and Capers
A user modified a New York cheesecake recipe, substituting cream cheese with lox cream cheese and adding capers, believing it was a 'New York bagel' recipe. The reviewer gave it one star and blamed the recipe.
The hosts immediately identified the presence of salmon and capers in the cheesecake, leading to strong reactions of disgust. They deduced the user's confusion with a lox bagel. The original cheesecake was praised for its authentic taste.
6Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble Transformed into a Fruit Salad
A user claimed to follow a strawberry rhubarb crumble recipe 'to the tea' but actually swapped strawberries for apples, rhubarb for papaya, and instead of baking a crumble, made it into a 'nice salad' with Bulgarian yogurt and honeycomb.
The hosts were appalled to find a cold fruit salad with yogurt and honeycomb instead of a baked crumble. They noted the complete absence of original ingredients and the lack of any 'crumble' element, calling it a 'complete wash' of the recipe's title.
7Brown Sugar Ginger Cake with Lean Ground Beef
A user made a brown sugar ginger cake, but due to a typo in the recipe's template that mentioned 'minced beef,' they included lean ground beef in the sweet loaf. The user was confused by the result, questioning why it had meat.
The hosts tasted the cake and were 'devastated' by the beef chunks in the sweet dessert. They correctly identified lean ground beef. The verdict revealed the beef was a typo in the original recipe, making the user an 'attentive reader' rather than a 'culinary criminal.'
Notable Moments
The hosts' dramatic reactions to tasting the ranch-infused butter chicken, leading to exaggerated gagging and calls for 'sensitivity training.'
Sets the comedic tone for the entire marathon, establishing the hosts' commitment to their 'culinary justice' roles.
The reveal of Lucky Charms and Dijon mustard in the seven-layer dip, causing collective horror and disbelief among the hosts.
Highlights the most extreme and unexpected substitutions, generating peak comedic shock and disgust.
The discovery that the Stuffed Chicken Cordon Bleu 'crime' was a prank by the reviewer, who actually followed the recipe and loved it.
A surprising twist that subverts expectations and adds a layer of meta-commentary on online recipe reviews.
The hosts' unexpected enjoyment of the pulled pork made with vanilla cinnamon coffee creamer, despite its bizarre nature.
Challenges their own 'culinary justice' framework, showing that some 'crimes' can inadvertently lead to delicious results.
The final reveal that the beef in the ginger cake was due to a recipe typo, leading to a 'mistrial' and a 'settlement' for the confused cook.
A rare instance where the 'culprit' is exonerated, providing a satisfying conclusion to a particularly egregious-sounding 'crime.'
Quotes
"I wish I could sentence them to an island of hell. That's where I live."
"If you high-five a bank robber as they run away, are you an accomplice? Absolutely. Okay, yeah, these are accomplices."
"It looks like pork belly and a flaccid penis had a baby."
"You bastard. Tomato. You sick son of a bitch. What the hell? Tomato."
Q&A
Recent Questions
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