KILL TONY
KILL TONY
February 17, 2026

KT #756 - JIM NORTON + IAN FIDANCE

Quick Read

This episode of Kill Tony features a diverse lineup of comedians sharing deeply personal and often outrageous stories, from navigating Tourette's and military exemptions to unique business ventures and dating mishaps, all while guest hosts Jim Norton and Ian Fidance offer sharp commentary.
Turkish military service offers two unusual exemptions: proving homosexuality via video or working in the US for three years.
One comedian built a profitable online business 'breaking' football cards, generating $25-30K in monthly profit.
Comedians navigate personal struggles, from Tourette's syndrome to a daughter's emergency surgery, by integrating them into their dark and specific humor.

Summary

Kill Tony #756 brings a dynamic mix of stand-up and candid interviews, featuring regular William Montgomery, a golden ticket winner, and several bucket pulls. Comedians share their experiences with Tourette's syndrome, the financial struggles of pursuing comedy, unusual online businesses, and even the bizarre requirements for military exemption in Turkey. The episode culminates with Ari Shaffir's set, discussing ICE raids and a highly personal story about his girlfriend's intimacy issues, providing a raw and unfiltered look into the lives and minds of working comedians.
This episode offers a candid look into the diverse lives and struggles of comedians, from managing medical conditions like Tourette's while performing, to the financial realities of pursuing a career in comedy, and the creative ways they generate income. It highlights the unique challenges and triumphs in the comedy world, alongside deeply personal anecdotes that resonate with broader human experiences.

Takeaways

  • William Montgomery maintains his 'mythical creature' persona, discussing an elaborate bong collection and ice cream obsession.
  • Zachariah Tourette's Tippet shares how his Tourette's manifests with specific verbal tics like 'bomb' in airports and the 'n-word' in St. Louis, and works part-time at Chili's.
  • Quinton Jones, a laid-off tech worker, details living off $14K in savings, losing 50 lbs due to eating less, and running a fitness page while pursuing comedy.
  • CJ Kaiserman reveals his online business of 'breaking' football cards, achieving $72K in sales and $25-30K profit last month, despite his comedic struggles.
  • Matt Banart, a 10-year veteran, makes a living touring small cities by creating hyper-local parody videos to promote his shows.
  • Orhan Lamor, a Turkish comedian, explains the two unusual ways to avoid mandatory military service in Turkey: providing 'proof' of homosexuality or working in the US for three years.
  • Dedric Flynn tours extensively, incorporating personal stories like peeing on pregnancy tests for 'good news' and having a black widow spider as a 'pet mom'.
  • Nicholas Sepeia shares a dark, humorous account of his infant daughter's emergency bowel surgery and his own uncomfortable prostate exam.
  • Kirsty Hayden, a pet sitter and organizer, discusses her decision to quit Zoloft cold turkey due to health insurance changes, experiencing 'brain zaps'.
  • Young delivers a set on how 'everything's better when it's white' and showcases her unique, endearing roast delivery style, even identifying Jim Norton as 'Jew'.
  • Jordan McDonald recounts touring 12 countries, performing in English, and meeting a 'disciplined crack addict' in Toronto who only smokes on weekends.
  • Joey Johnson, an 11-year comedian, works at a 'Head Shop on Wheels' selling 'diet weed' and shares a personal story about a sexual encounter with a trans woman he didn't realize was trans until mid-act.
  • Ari Shaffir closes the show with a story about his girlfriend admitting she hasn't come during their months of intimacy, leading him to consider extreme measures with vibrators and power tools.

Bottom Line

The Turkish military offers a bizarre exemption for homosexuality, requiring video proof, which Orhan Lamor highlights as a humiliating ordeal, contrasting it with the alternative of working in the US for three years.

So What?

This reveals an unusual cultural and bureaucratic loophole, demonstrating the lengths individuals go to avoid mandatory service and the often-dehumanizing processes involved.

Impact

This could inspire content creators or documentary filmmakers to explore similar unique cultural or governmental policies and their human impact.

CJ Kaiserman generates $25-30K in monthly profit from an online business 'breaking' sports cards, a niche where customers buy specific teams from unopened boxes.

So What?

This illustrates a highly specialized and lucrative e-commerce model that leverages collector interest and the thrill of chance, demonstrating that significant income can be found in unexpected niches.

Impact

Entrepreneurs could explore 'breaking' models for other collectibles, art, or even digital assets, creating communities around shared speculative interests.

Ari Shaffir's story about his girlfriend not achieving orgasm during their months of intimacy, and his subsequent reaction of wanting to 'shop for tools' (vibrators, power tools), highlights a common, yet often unspoken, male insecurity and the pressure surrounding female pleasure.

So What?

This candid admission exposes the vulnerability and sometimes extreme reactions men can have when confronted with perceived inadequacy in intimate relationships, challenging traditional notions of male sexual performance.

Impact

This could spark discussions or content around open communication in relationships, male sexual insecurity, and the role of sex toys in enhancing female pleasure without diminishing a partner's role.

Opportunities

Niche Collectibles 'Breaking' Service

An online platform specializing in 'breaking' various collectible items (e.g., sports cards, Pokémon cards, comic books, art prints). Customers purchase 'slots' for specific teams, characters, or categories, and the 'breaker' live-streams the opening of sealed boxes, distributing items to respective buyers. This model leverages community, anticipation, and the thrill of collecting at a lower individual cost than buying full boxes.

Source: CJ Kaiserman's football card business

Hyper-Local Comedy Promotion Service

A service that creates tailored, city-specific parody videos (e.g., 'Top spots to rip sigs in Tulsa,' 'Top spots to take a drunk piss') for touring comedians. These videos would be based on extensive local research and designed to go viral, generating local interest and ticket sales for shows in smaller markets.

Source: Matt Banart's strategy for selling tickets in smaller cities

Mobile 'Diet Weed' Dispensary/Head Shop

A food truck-style mobile business that sells legal 'diet weed' products (e.g., Delta-8, CBD, other hemp-derived cannabinoids) and head shop accessories. This model offers flexibility to operate at various events, festivals, and locations, catering to a diverse clientele seeking alternative cannabis products.

Source: Joey Johnson's 'Head Shop on Wheels' job

Lessons

  • For touring performers, leverage hyper-local content: Create city-specific parody videos or reviews based on thorough research to engage local audiences and drive ticket sales, as demonstrated by Matt Banart.
  • Embrace niche markets in e-commerce: Explore 'breaking' models for collectibles or other high-value items, allowing customers to buy into specific segments of a larger product, as CJ Kaiserman successfully does with sports cards.
  • Prioritize open communication in intimate relationships: Follow Ari Shaffir's eventual realization that direct questions about pleasure, even if initially uncomfortable, prevent prolonged misunderstanding and insecurity.
  • Utilize personal struggles for unique content: Comedians like Zachariah Tourette's Tippet and Nicholas Sepeia demonstrate how deeply personal or challenging life experiences can be transformed into distinctive and relatable humor.

Notable Moments

Orhan Lamor receives a Golden Ticket, a rare honor on Kill Tony, after delivering a standout set and a highly engaging interview about his Turkish background and military exemption.

This signifies a major career opportunity and recognition for his talent, validating his decision to pursue comedy in Austin after moving from Turkey and LA.

Ari Shaffir candidly shares his recent confidence crisis stemming from his girlfriend revealing she hadn't achieved orgasm during their months of intimacy, leading to a humorous yet vulnerable discussion about male insecurity and the role of sex toys.

This moment offers a raw, personal insight into a comedian's private life, humanizing the performer and sparking a relatable conversation about intimacy, expectations, and communication in relationships.

Joey Johnson recounts a 'rock bottom' moment involving a sexual encounter with a trans woman where he only realized she was trans after the act, and his subsequent internal struggle and justification.

This highly personal and controversial anecdote pushes boundaries, revealing the complex and often uncomfortable realities of sexual encounters and self-perception, especially under the influence of substances.

Quotes

"

"If you're happy and you know it, give it back right now."

Orhan Lamor
"

"I only smoke crack on the weekends. And guess what, Big Daddy? It's the weekend."

Jordan McDonald (quoting a homeless man)
"

"I was on unemployment during COVID. That was the best money I ever made."

Joey Johnson
"

"I don't give a [expletive], dude. Whatever we need, I can get a black guy here in 15 minutes, dude. I don't give a [expletive]. Ladies, say what makes you come, dude. The past four months, I've been buying a lie."

Ari Shaffir
"

"I'm going to next time she's over in my place, dude. I'm coming with a chainsaw, dude."

Ari Shaffir

Q&A

Recent Questions

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